Expectations for Casual Raiding

Gentle readers, Crusader Manners is in the middle of a GM election. She is running against that pesky "None of the Above," but she working very hard to make sure that she is ready for the eventuality that she does not lose.

So today's post is something of an experiment. Crusader Manners is not a big fan of rules, per se. Rules imply external enforcement, which is unpleasant. She likes expectations, which require self-enforcement. So she has formulated the following expectations for casual raiding which should ease stress and increase performance, but she is soliciting feedback.

Expectations for Casual Raiding

1. We will have what we need. We will be in the right spec, wearing the right gear. We will be fully repaired. We will have our own potions, flasks, and elixirs. We will bring the proper reagents. We will have vendor food and drink in case there is no mage.
2. We will be on time. This means that we may have to log on before the posted raid time to make sure we have everything taken care of.
3. We will be gracious. If we have been on a raid already this week and someone else has not, we will consider making room for them.
4. We will be honest. If, in the analysis, we do not have the right gear or performance for a particular raid, we will voluntarily pass for a reserved spot on a less demanding one.
5. We will be prepared. We will read the wiki pages and watch the strategy videos in preparation for a raid. We will consider printing them out or taking notes so we have them at hand.
6. We will be awesome. We will be not raid while intoxicated, as this is not fair to the group. We will not cuss each other out during fights (we can take our fingers off the button and cuss away). We will offer constructive criticism.

As always, you may send your questions to crusader_manners@incendiaeternus.net for polite and sometimes timely answers.

Your Questions

Why do people feel the need to use the terms "gay" and "fag" and "retarded" so often? I find the first two in particular offensive, as I have many friends who are of that persuasion, and have mentioned this to my raiding guild. Still, they persist on occasionally using such. Is it unreasonable of me to ask them to stop?

You can ask them to stop, but the truth is (as always) that we can't ever change any behavior but our own. Still, the most false cliche in the English language is the one about sticks and stones.

According to wikipedia, "mental retardation" is a diagnostic term derived from early IQ tests. Over time, it has become synonymous with people who are willfully less intelligent rather than unfortunately less capable. Because of this, in the field we've changed the technical language. Now a person with an IQ below 70 (and we won't talk about the validity of IQ testing here) is referred to as having a developmental disability. So this just leaves "retard" as an insulting word. How insulting? A 2003 BBC survey rated "retard" as the most offensive disability-related word.

What can you do about people using it? Well, instead of asking people not to, you can instead take the pledge, and spread the word that you have. People respond better to a request phrased in positive terms than negative ones.

The same is going to be true for the use of sexual pejoratives. If there's a campaign to stop people from using them, Crusader Manners doesn't know about them, but it's all going to be in the phrasing. "Help me to stop this language," sounds way less accusatory than, "stop using this language!"

Ultimately, calling people "fag," or "retard," isn't a message of contempt for homosexuals or the mentally impaired. It's verbal bullying, and in the end, Crusader Manners thinks you have better things to do with your time than play with bullies.


Have a question of your own? Email crusader_manners@incendiaeternus.net for answers.